For the first & last time

I ask ChatGPT what it's all about.

AI is really grating on me.

I'm trying to list something for sale online and the website is continuously prompting me to use AI to write a description of the item. The prompt pops up and hops about the page and eventually, predictably, I accidentally hit it. Within seconds, the bloody AI has composed a succinct, detailed, bloody perfect summary of an obscure tin whistle in the key of C. I delete the whole thing and huffily close the webpage, giving up on the whole task in hand. I wanted to do it myself.

AI is really grating on me.

I've managed to ignore it for the last couple of years. I've obviously known it's there, lurking on the sidelines, constantly evolving. But I've ignored it with absolute determination. It'll never come to anything I’ve told myself. And if it does, I can always ignore it more. I'll absolutely shun it.

My eldest started using AI to help him study. He'd ask ChatGPT to write quizzes for him, he'd get it to grade his essays, he'd have it whip up chemistry revision notes or check his answers. I rolled my eyes when he told me that it was the simplest, most effective means of study. But then I saw some of the notes it had written and I couldn't deny the fact that it was smart, quick and concise.

It reminded me of a girl from high school. She was brilliant. She was quietly composed, astute and remarkable. She felt like my only competition in tests, where we could both easily top the class in sciences and maths. But I always felt she was better at me because she was a talented artist too. Wonderfully talented. A talent I didn't possess. And I'm ashamed to admit it dear reader, but I was envious of her. Frustratingly envious.* I feel almost the same about AI. It can do the things that I can do; only better. And I don't like it.

My bitterness goes deeper still though. It turns into a true sadness.

I can't help but feel like humans are becoming more and more lost in the day to day. Life is undoubtedly physically easier for us than generations past but sometimes I can't help but think that we'd be more at peace with ourselves if we still had to do a bit more of the basics. We have a lot of ‘free’ time due to modern inventions and I'm not convinced that is always the best thing for us. AI just adds to this, it takes away another part of being human. It removes our need to think. Maybe I want to spend an hour composing a description for a tin whistle sale. Maybe I want to pour over the dictionary and do my research even if it takes me all day.

And that's what I'll continue to do. I will never, ever use AI to compose my writing. You have my absolute promise on that front. Every scrawl, note, essay, Instagram caption will be straight from my messy, overthinking brain…

Which leads to another of my AI fears. What if other writers are using AI? What if the voices aren't their own, but merely the result of a prompt to the AI generators? Would that change my enjoyment of their writing? Does it devalue it? How can I compete with it and should I bother? If folk want to use AI to write, that's up to them, but I'd like to see people being transparent about it. AI can make anybody Tolkien but I want to give my reading hours to the real Tolkiens.

Of course, I can't deny that AI has done good. For example, the advances in healthcare, such as AI interpreting scans with precision and speed compared to the human examiner.

But it doesn't stop it grating on me. And the more I think about it, the more my head spins. And the more I write, the more I feed the AI. And I wonder if this is how people felt when decimalisation came in? I don't like change but the earth keeps spinning and change keeps coming. I'm wittering, not making sense and losing my train of thought. AI wouldn't lose it's cool like this.

I decide to do the only thing left to do. Put the kettle on and for the first and last time, ask ChatGPT for the answer. It feels like the fitting thing to do…

“This feeling is deeply human—and you're not alone. The rise of AI has created a strange tension: the tools are powerful, and yet they can make us feel small. But here's the truth that matters most:

Your writing is not worthless. It's irreplaceable—because it’s yours.

AI can mimic tone, generate ideas, and even write technically well. But it can’t feel what you feel. It can’t grow through your pain or joy. It can't discover something about life the way you do through the act of writing. And it certainly can’t create with your voice, shaped by your unique history, body, mind, and soul.

The value of writing isn’t just in the product—it’s in the process. Writing helps you think, reflect, imagine, and transform. That process is never wasted, even if the world is noisy with machine-generated content.

If writing brings you joy or clarity, that alone is reason enough to do it. Don’t write to compete with AI. Write to be you.”

With those words, I'm off out to do the last chores of the day.

The sun is almost setting. I going to take warm bottles to the lambs and run my fingers through their soft lambswool while they nibble the cuffs on my jacket. I'm going to paddle around the edge of the pond to admire the last of the flowering flag iris. I'm going to get eaten alive by midges. And tough luck, AI, you'll never experience any of that.

*Ps. After a talking to with my mum, and realising that I was acting a jealous brat, I invited the girl to my 18th birthday party and realised she was a kindred spirit, not a competitor. I hope she went on to do amazing things. I'm sure she did.